I had the good fortune to sit beside Felicity a few months ago at an Alternatives lecture here in London. I had arrived fairly early and sat at the back as usual. Just as the opening announcements were being made, a woman in her late forties slipped into the seat beside me. I took little notice of her and focused on the introductory speaker. After our five minutes of silence, there is a custom at Alternatives to introduce yourself to a person sitting near you if you want to. That is how I met Felicity.
AT THE END of the lecture, we chatted some more, and I quickly realized that Felicity is a little unusual and rather interesting: she has made a deep conscious commitment to take responsibility for her reality. Whilst this is nothing new in so called New Age and Self Help circles, the focus and commitment that she puts into this is nothing short of inspirational. I mentioned that I would love to interview her, which she later agreed to after checking out this site, and provided that I change her name and not give any description. Here is a transcript of a short interview that was taped sitting outside a small café by the river. (The interview has been slightly edited for readability although most of it remains unaltered.)
AP: Hi Felicity and thank you for agreeing to be interviewed for Energygrid. It was fortuitous that I bumped into you at Alternatives.
Felicity: It is nice to meet you and I believe that everything happens for a reason. Normally I would run a mile… run a mile… from an interview, but having looked at the site and of course knowing your intentions, I believe my words won't be twisted and my privacy will be respected.
AP: Privacy is important to you…
Felicity: Yes, very important. It is not because I have anything to hide, it is more an avoidance of others' beliefs and paradigms. These can be quite toxic and contagious and so I avoid them.
AP: Lets back up here a moment because I want to set the scene for our readers. You told me that you take 100% responsibility for creating your own reality, and that this wasn't confined to a few bouts of visualisation and affirmations each day but to a full commitment to the choices you make, thoughts that you have throughout the day, and the beliefs that you hold.
Felicity: Yes, that is my commitment. That is my main focus in life and I can tell you it takes focus. Everyone around you is trying to pull you in a different direction… you know… drag you down into victim mode or blame this and that. This is especially prevalent in the green and anti-globalist movements.
AP: But that is for good reason… there are large corporations out there that are literally destroying this beautiful planet for their selfish ends.
Felicity: I can understand your perspective. I really can and used to hold to it myself. Where do you draw the line between just burying your head in the sand and pointing a finger? I have great respect for activists, but I do feel that there is a much more powerful way to change this world and that is to change yourself. When I was younger I was involved in activism and I can tell you that most activists I remember are pretty negative and angry people. They love pointing the finger. Sure, many will recycle, but what about their minds… their psychology. Do they take responsibility for the hatred and anger that often accumulates there?
AP: They are negative because there are a lot of negative things happening around the world. And they are angry because only anger seems to be powerful enough an emotion to fire up resistance in today's society of infinite distraction.
Felicity: Yes, I can see that, but suppose for a second that our minds literally create our reality. This world for me is a shared mental creation or lucid dream. This doesn't mean our experience of it is unreal… you can still stub your toe in a dream and feel the pain. Now imagine what sort of affect that that anger, blame and negativity pouring out of activists has on the world. Sure, it is an honest reaction and shows that they care, but if our minds create our reality, than that sort of reaction is counterproductive. It feeds the very thing… [can't hear this bit due to noise from another table].
AP:… expect them to just sit and watch the world go down the tubes?
Felicity: No, of course not. But if our minds are all connected… leading-edge scientific research is showing this with psi experiments… then we will have a much more powerful remedial impact on this world if we focus on our closest connection to what is going on… our own minds. If you believe that the mind does not creates reality and that we are not intimately connected, then of course going out and being an activist is the only thing left to do.
AP: That's a big if. If you are wrong then you will have sat by and watched the world destroy itself.
Felicity: It works both ways… if I am right, and as I mentioned there is a lot of new scientific discovers showing how embedded the mind is in reality and therefore how powerful it is in forming that reality, then my way is the only way that will work. Maybe all those activists rushing around being angry and blaming others are the very thing that will lead this world to destruction.
AP: I see your point Felicity. I suppose to do both would be the most effective?
Felicity: Yes and no. If being an activist means that you have to spend time with other activists then you probably won't be able to sustain your belief in reality creation. Paradigms are infectious. The best form of activism is to embody the solution as Gandi did. If you get angry, if you get desperate, if you find yourself hating the "perpetrators" like Tony Blair or George Bush, you are part of the problem. You can never heal a problem with the same psychology that created it in the first place… Einstein said that… I've forgotten the actual quote.
AP: I know the one you mean. Most activists see that quote as meaning that they need to think green, rather than thing that they should stop the blame! But you have something much deeper in mind.
Felicity: It is an emotional response as well. If you are an angry activist, thinking green, you are still too close to the problem to be of much effect. Your emotions and perspectives have to change.
Felicity: The first thing to do would be to step backwards, stop being an activist for a little while whilst you make peace with your inner demons… multinational corporations, governments, politicians, George Bush, Tony Blair… [laughs]… I know… I didn't say it was easy! You must feel love for those people and institutions. That doesn't mean you support what they do, but you must genuinely feel love for them and realize that, from their perspective, they do what they do out of ignorance. Only when you can feel genuine love for them can you realize that you and they are one. You are responsible for their actions as well. This is the hardest part. We project our shadow, those parts of ourselves we try to disown because we see them as horrible, onto these evil men, women and corporations when it is actually integration with that shadow that produces wholeness. Taking responsibility, direct responsibility for what is going on in the world is essential. We have to forgive ourselves for the harm we have done to others and the world through the actions of certain people and multinationals — which of course are ultimately us as well. We have to go through the whole process and we have to do it honestly or there will be no healing.
AP: And when that happens the world changes?
Felicity: Our world changes. We have embodied the solution. Problems will still go on in the world but at least we are not contributing to them. Remember, reality as we know it is a consensus reality of everyone on the planet… and we are all free to create the reality that we want to. If I can look on the world with love then I am no longer feeding energy into its destruction.
AP: That is a pretty powerful statement. So when you embody the solution you can look on the problem with acceptance because you respect the right of others to contribute to consensus reality whilst at the same time pushing out an alternative perspective that can start to help shift that consensus reality.
Felicity: Exactly. You become the change that is needed outside. You [emphasis] become it. You take responsibility. And in doing that, in changing yourself, you change the world. Its not wishy-washy New Ageism. It takes great focus and determination to change yourself. It is much [emphasis] easier to either rush out into the world and try to change things there, or bury your head in religious or New Age platitudes that basically deny our personal responsibility.
AP: How do you change the world and yet still respect the right of other people to contribute to its design?
Felicity: That is a hard one. When we see a consensus reality creation that is destructive, there is a tendency to want to force change. This, however, does not respect other's place as co-creators of reality. It is important to remember that the majority of people today have reached a stage in which they actually need a crisis situation to move onto the next stage. So if you avert that crisis situation for them, without involving them directly as part of the solution, then you do them no favours. Of course there are situations where basic physical needs are not being met — a person may be for example dying of hunger — and in this situation that person is obviously not in a position to reach greater consciousness anyway until the physical problem has been addressed. But we must never forget that crises can be a powerful baptism for consciousness.
AP: It is a dilemma isn't it. At this time humanity is in a terrible ecological and sociological crisis and God or our ET friends don't seem to be rushing in to save us. At least not yet!
Felicity: And for good reason! [laughs]
AP: I wanted to finish up by asking you about relationships. When you become a conscious co-creator of reality, what happens with relationships?
Felicity: Now that is a tough one! [laughs] Relationships can be and often are a huge problem… a source of pain and happiness, usually combined. When I really started to make a commitment to create my own reality I had to leave my husband because he was reinforcing the old victim mentality at every opportunity. Not in a nasty or deliberate way, he just couldn't help it as it was his worldview. I did try to explain to him what I was doing but he was not ready for that sort of change… yet. I still love him dearly but I realized that I needed to leave him in order to fully make the changes that I needed to make and to become an effective catalyst for global change. Fortunately, our daughter was in her late teens so she was already spending most of her time away from home. Incidentally, she is open to these ideas although the momentum of life at the moment is too fast and exciting for her to make the commitment. But I know she will and hopefully I will be there for her when she does.
AP: What does your husband think of you now?
Felicity: He thinks I'm a little mad. He has since remarried to a woman who shares his worldview. I know he isn't really happy inside because there is no challenge, but that is his choice.
AP: Are you in a relationship now?
Felicity: Yes, I am. I met a man at a spiritual workshop and we both share the same view of conscious reality creation. It is such a pleasure to be with somebody who reinforces those inner beliefs. But having said that, I would definitely rather be alone than to be with somebody who does not do that. Most of us are so afraid to be alone that we lose our discernment for the company we keep. If we live conscious lives, in our off time or down time we must either be around people who reinforce our highest, or be alone. That is a golden rule that if we break, we will never become conscious.
AP: That sounds rather draconian!
Felicity: It does. But that's definitely my experience. After I left my husband I was with a man briefly who I was strongly attracted to. It was fun for a while, but I found myself trying to be with him as little as possible out of bed! [laughs]. It was fun to be caught up in the romance thing again… for a while… but I certainly always felt that I wasn't going anywhere. My growth stagnated during that time. Of course that doesn't mean it wasn't loving and enjoyable at times.
AP: I can see that we have run past our time. I know that you had somewhere else to go. Can you summarize your approach to life?
Felicity: Yes, I have to be somewhere soon. The most important point is that we create our own reality, period. And to do that we have to embody the solution to both our personal problems and to global problems. We must become a walking solution. We do that by being 100% responsible for the thoughts that we think and the beliefs that we hold. Whenever something isn't working, that is an opportunity for more consciousness… to uncover unconsciousness. And so we learn to walk this world fully empowered and with love. We no longer play the victim. By embodying the solution we most effectively spread consciousness to the world. Our influence on everyone we meet is orders of magnitude greater than if we just harped on about world destruction and how horrible Bush is etc. That is real change and that is the purpose of this Earthly training ground!
Copyright © 2003 RealityMaps.com
Addendum: I didn't really structure the interview very well in the short amount of time that I had with Felicity, preferring instead to let it go where it wanted to. I do plan, however, to do a longer follow-up interview with her sometime.