Iraqi News Dictionary

Compiled by Jenny Marsh updated
The Iraqi News Dictionary is an secret code manual compiled by linguists and media experts to allow those of us in the West to understand what is really going on in Iraq.

SEEING OR LISTENING to Western news reports of the situation in Iraq has always left me with an uncomfortable feeling: something does not make sense, but I could never put my finger on it. Then, I realized the problem: Western news reports need to be decoded. Once that is done, all those nagging feelings simply vanish!

 
updated 31 Dec 04

Iraqi News Dictionary

 

A 

 
abu guarab /ahhboo-garrab/ n
American military sex and torture dungeons run for the entertainment of the US troops. (Under Saddam it was just a boring old torture chamber.)
 
al qaeda /al-kyeeda/ n
a fictitious label to collect all the separate groups of terrorist around the world into one global enemy; perfect justification for empire building and massive military tax bills.
 

B 

 
Blair /bl-air/ n
small poodle or lapdog favoured by American presidents; an extremely insincere politician.
 
Bush /bushh/ n
the worst, most dangerous, most immoral, and least intelligent US President of all time.
 

C 

 
camp x-ray /camp-exray/ n
isolated torture camp run by the US in Cuba to give the impression that its detainees are extremely dangerous criminals.
 
clearing a city /klear-ring/ v
to bomb the living daylights out of a civilian built up area and then to shoot the unarmed men, women and children that start crawling pathetically out of the rubble.
 
coalition forces /co-alition/ n
the good old US of A, period… oh… and a few sycophantic poodles.
 
collateral damage /klateral/ n
the cold blooded murder of unarmed men, women and children, mostly by blowing them to pieces with bombing campaigns.
 
contractor /kon-trak-ter/ n
marine (see below) employed by the private    sector and paid by the American taxpayer.
 

D 

 
democracy /demokrasee/ n
a system of brutal dictatorship in which elections are rigged and leaders chosen by the United States.
 
depleted uranium /depleeted urain-ium/ n
weapon of mass destruction used by the US on the Iraqi people. (The radioactive dust from the hundreds of tons of exploded shells and bullets will eventually kill countless thousands of men, women and children.)
 

E 

 
elections /elek-shions/ n
a useful method to collect information on the Iraqi people; a smokescreen for dictatorship.
 
embedded journalist /em-bed-ed/ n
a disseminator of US propaganda; a disgrace to his or her profession; a liar.
 

F 

 
freedom /free-dhom/ n
slavery
 

G 

 
Geneva Convention /gen-eeva/ n
"quaint" and archaic rules of combat that do not apply to the US or the puppet dictators that it supports; a legal technicality.
 

H 

 
hospital /hoss-pital/ n
a pile of rubble mixed with the blood of already wounded civilian men, women and children. (Attractive target as it is always full of people.)
 
human rights /hew-man/ n
applied to foreigners, this is a crazy liberal idea held by the unpatriotic and left-wing to undermine American dominance; applied to Americans, this a clever legal device for suing.
 

I 

 
insurgent /insir-gent/ n
an Iraqi who has made the mistake of resisting the illegal invasion and destruction of his or her country by the United States and the UK.
 
intelligence /intellygence/ n
creative writing institute used to back up government propaganda.
 
interim government /interim/ n
puppet dictatorship chosen by the US and representing US interests.
 
Iraq /e-rak/ n
America's new oil supply and a military base for its imperial conquest of the rest of the Middle East. The 51st State of the USA.
 

J 

 
justice /jus-tice/ n
a thousand eyes for an eye; a thousand teeth for a tooth; a bullet in the head; sex and torture at Abu Guarab.
 

K 

 

L 

 
liberation /lyberation/ n
the murder and enslavement of a people, and the annexing of foreign countries to the American Empire; war crimes.
 

M 

 
marine /marr-reen/ n
hired killer; mercenary
 
militants /mill-itants/ n
(see insurgent above)
 
mosque /mosk/ n
great place to prove your manhood by shooting wounded and unarmed men in the head at point blank range; shooting range.
 

N 

 
news conference /newws/ n
propaganda dissemination event
 
nine-eleven (9/11) /nyne-elevan/ n
the terrible 01 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York; Bush's crafted cue to speed up US Empire Building; blow-back.
 

O 

 
oil /oi-al/ n
currency for modern empire-builders; an asset that must always be US-controlled.
 
Osama /oh-sa-ma/ n
forgotten member in endless series of hobgoblins put forth by Bush (see also "Saddam" below)
 

P 

 
press conference /press/ n
(see news conference)
 

Q 

 
quagmire /kwag-my-er/ n
inextricable situation (see "Iraq", "Vietnam") (NOTE: official removed from White House/ Pentagon vocabulary circa March 1993)
 

R 

 
rebel /reb-ball/ n
(see insurgent above)
 

S 

 
Saddam /sa-dom/ n
Previous member of the endless series of hobgoblins put forth by Bush (see also "Osama" and "Zarqawi")
 
smart bombs /ss-mart/ a
an expensive device operated by dumb people that blows innocent men, women and children to pieces slightly more efficiently than conventional bombs.
 
sovereignty /sov-ren-tee/ n
A country or people with no security and no government, occupied against its/their will by a foreign invader (see also "democracy" and "elections")
 

T 

 
terrorist /terror-wrist/ n
(see insurgent above); also Osama bin Laden, Abu Zarqawi, Bush, Blair, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, and anybody who supports them.
 
turning point /ter-ning-poynt/ n
An event which the American government considers to bode well for their illegal occupation of Iraq. Examples include: the death of Uday and Qusay Hussein; the capture of Saddam Hussein; the "transfer of power" [sic] on 30-June-2004; the taking back of Fallujah; with more to come. "The only turning point will be when the United States turns around and leaves." — Matthew Rothschild (progressive.org)
 
tyrant /tire-rant/ n
George Bush, and before him, Saddam Hussein; any dictator supported by the US.
 

U 

 
United States of America / n
the last evil empire and the one most likely to trigger Armageddon; (unfortunately, the 49% sane inhabitants of the US now seem powerless to stop this march to annihilation).
 

V 

 
Viet Nam /vee-et nom/ n
Arabic translation of "Iraq" (see above)
 

W 

 
war crimes /waar-crymes/ n
standard US military strategy to "shock and awe" an invaded people into submission.
 
weapons of mass destruction (WMD) / n
a blatant lie to assuage the guilt of the US population in their support for their government's overt empire-building and mass murder.
 

X 

 

Y 

 

Z 

 
Zarqawi /zar-kow-ee/ n
current member of the endless series of hobgoblins put forth by Bush.