Thank God I'm Not Spiritual

Geoff Freed — December 2008
Former forensic technician and scientific & medical researcher, lecturer, workshop leader and psychotherapist, Dr. Geoff Freed reports on what is happening energetically on the planet at this pivotal time in history.

WAY BACK I was collecting things to package from a friends previously rented cottage when a gentleman came walking down the lane. His presence and aura suggested to me that this man was 'special' [I've grown out of special people, we are all special and yet very ordinary]. It turned out after a while I was talking, while packing up things to send onto Spain, that it was J Krishnamurti. I have related this in previous blogs. A year later I met him privately again [Again full story in a previous blog]. However the main theme that came out of this was not to start another movement, ism or spiritual practice.

Then I am reminded of my early days and being a fringe person who was around the days of so called new age masters in the 60's, 70's and then finding them in their private lives when not performing at workshops, seminars, and those huge collectives of the Mind, Spirit and God knows What else festivals, that these folks including me were full of ego, pompous, and each one outdoing, out charging and of course an exclusive ear to God or some exalted Being, it had to be a high angelic being, an ascended master or an ET. I do know they turn on some people. However, now it seems although irrelevantly, not jealousy [which I had pangs of in that era] that it was a market place each vying and strutting their wares. Although this in the name of God, Consciousness, the shift and whatever. Great and it was a buzz. This high only lasted as long as I had an adoring audience or one of the many clients and workshops. There was always a deep at that time inaccessible part that was lonely, isolated and yet desperately seeking an elusive or mysterious goal.

Krishnamurti's famous speech about dissolving the organisation set up by others, putting him on a pedestal and the new messiah was in essence saying, that once a sect, dogma, religion and the like become crystallised, they become a habit, a structure, a confinement and a prison to free expression and creativity. Then the division between psychics, channelers, sensitive's, spiritual seekers, those who sought enlightenment and God Consciousness, those who felt they were from another dimension and another galaxy and of ET origin. Take all that, the devotees, the followers, the cop out merchants, who seek the hand outs from those they feel have the 'light', the 'message', the tools, the book, the top banana. Yet the clear message from many a wise one' You and the source are one'; 'The Father and I are one'. 'I am That', 'The Kingdom of Heaven is Within'. All the great ones were one with the creator, were the creators creation. They did not channel, get their information from a third source. They did not even have a link to the creator; they were part and parcel of the Cosmic Consciousness. Their ego had dissolved as sugar in hot tea, an iceberg to the sea, the wave subsiding to the ocean of being.

Their search was over; they are that which they were searching for. No separation, they are indeed their own source of information. They are information. They are their own way. IN FACT they are not they, they'ness has dissolved, there is only one and this is a stand alone. One is now the one and religions, cults, ism's techniques and the like have no use. These were merely steps on the way and on becoming the WAY, which is the Way less Way, these are no longer needed, and the relief is felt as bliss and freedom.

On being the way there's no such thing as holy, spiritual, masters, wrong and rights and in human form one might say' thank god I am not spiritual'. Hypothetical question' does God think of itself as spiritual, holy, right or wrong?' Has God a favourite theme other than which holy books convey to us, many of them ancient and out of date and is the cause of many bloody wars, family split ups and so forth? Have many really thought through that the vastness of the universe, the amazing abundance and ecology of nature, the mysterious sub particle realms, the marvel of a bird flying, a human walking, giving birth to off spring, the miracle of birth and death, and compared it with the pettiness of a religious dogma, some human minds petty attempt to logic it, know the answers to the theme and reason for creation? Deep unbiased contemplation will reveal the shallow and fallacious ideologies that arise from the cults, isms and scientific and political myopia that exists.

However, when sitting still and breathing gently reaching that ineffable space where one expands, feels the limits of the petty ego dissolving as it becomes absorbed in a great essence, the sensing of a consciousness unbounded, unfettered, limitless freedom, even in sleep, play and the business of life. Then one sees and senses the narrowness of the human condition. There is a joy and one is in accord with the Universal Mind. One is filled with a natural compassion, one is harmless, nay not timid, or afraid, one is not aggressive, and however one's actions are appropriate to the natural needs of the moment - the natural efficiency of the natural mind [see further back blogs on ' chicken's don't lie and rabbit kittens'].

We may catch a glimpse of the potential of this bliss and joy which I feel is beginning to percolate into the human collective unconscious. I feel this is the real message of 2012 and beyond. Not a technological revolution, but a mass inner peace and contentment consciousness brought about by contentment through just accepting and being who we are. No celebrities spiritual or otherwise, we are content to be who we are without makeovers, plastic surgery and enhancements, no desire other than to be at peace inside. When one is touched by the inner beauty and is harmony with the universe, then new harmless technologies will arise. We will have left behind aggressive marketing and hoarding, we will be altruistic stemming from heartfelt warmth. We will feel bon ami and then the world can take on its heritage as a planet of fun, creativity and peace. Far from a boring nothingness to an unfolding beautiful scenario flowing from creativity and not ego demands.

This may come about when the enchantment and fascination for gadgets, technology, power, domination and covetous hankerings subside. Some of this will come through shortage of supply; many will turn seeing that materialism is not the saviour it would appear to be. The more we hoard the more we have to defend and worry about. When we become disenchanted with the trappings, the razz meh taz, the glitter, lycra, glamour [as so many celebs are finding] then we seek the quiet life, we see the beauty in simple things, sunsets, flowers, hear bird calls, everything is vibrant, healthy, pristine, primordial and we know this because this is what we are too. This is our nature and essence which I am one with our Creator. God I'm So Glad I am not spiritual. God I am so glad I am a no-one everyone. Yippee!

There is no doubt that the credit crunch has exposed so much. The manufacture of paper monopoly money, fat cats still earning huge bonuses. People's faith in materialism which floats as thin ice, its foundations on shifting sands, the feel good factor of materialism whilst it lasts is intrinsically deluding. The payout from a nanny state and the reliance on the pensions and handouts can in some circumstances denude us of inner resources. The faith in shares and stock markets, the thrill if you like of make or break, the gamble, great if it wins, despair if it loses.

Just recently some millionaires have committed suicide over their losses and taken their families with them. Many others in less well off situations have lost their homes, their livelihoods. Is this the wake up call to rethink our lives and the way we live them? Is this the energy jolt needed to shift the mind set and be a new world paradigm by 2012?

It is strange how the Universe is constantly changing, our bodies doing the same, and yet our mind sets and securities remain sometimes entrenched, rigid and we then impose that on our bodies too, so they lose flexibility and longevity.

The value of property has gone down, so I asked my MP and the government does this mean that council tax will come down? No way, my local council had lost a lot in the Icelandic debacle, in fact they said they might hugely raise it, in order to pay for the injection of taxpayer's cash to subsidise the banks. Then I asked will the 5% inflation be updated to the state pension. No way. Blow the pensioners with fuel going up, raise in food prices, rents and other commodities. Yet big company executives flaunt and milk the situation. Agreed if you subscribe to the money capital market system you need the big earners, the banks and all that goes with it. Neither do I extol communism, fascism or any other ism. However, spare a few crumbs off the bread board for those less well off.

We hear talk of more rigid controls of banks, hedge funds, transparency and similar rhetoric. Great financial institutions giving glib and silky phrases, political gibberish, spin doctoring and so on. How long before the general public see through this brain washing and illusionary façade? Yes a revolt is needed, NOT A BLOODY VIOLENT ONE, an inner mind revolt, to see through the mists of clever con tricks, to see through the corrupt laws which foster and nourish this complete magic conjuring show named the GREAT HOUDINI OF MAMMON. Cabinet reshuffles, new policies, new government faces all saying the same thing in many different ways, and those who buck the system will be hounded out, broken and led away or bribed off. When will this end? When will the masses wake up? Rio Ferdinand the current England Deputy Football Captain, talks about the huge wages and lazy players who earn more at their club than playing for the pride of their country. The possible credit crunch leading to a collapse of some large clubs, the millions paid in sponsorship and TV rights and so on. The fans who are married to their club and these are another sort of religion and fanaticism, leading to killings and mass destruction of towns. This with street gangs who are alienated from society by poverty and loss of parental control. Yes, the have-not's of council estates and the have's of footballers may soon have their worlds touched. One very well known footballer said to me,' Christ, the thought of not having fifteen grand a week in my hand gives me the s----s, I have three cars worth £95,000 each, three houses and an airplane, if this hits me I am deep in the s---t' . It's all relative I said and he said yes I may need my relatives. By the way he is one of the poorer paid players.

We seem to have a mental Botox. We rely on security patterns instilled in our childhood [I have said this in earlier blogs in great detail]. We have been hammered, brain washed, conditioned to have a subconscious routine, playing as a loop tape, which monitors the mind to see if we are 'keeping up the tradition, the religion, the reactive defence/offence regimes, and if not guilt, punishment by low self esteem, denial and the guardian FEAR.' The governments and religions make sure their programmes are synchronised to the individual and this is called tradition, culture and we take pride in this, yes to a point it is so. Not to a point where we are bloody minded and cannot see the control mechanisms to free bright original thought. Afraid to reach out into a brave new world of trust, sharing and love. Maybe we shall have a few more crunches, and like the story in the Old Testament, re the Pharaoh refusing to let the Hebrews go, the ten plagues were sent until they relented. Will we have to have ten more wars, famines, credit crunches until we reach out beyond our puny minds, become bold and see a world family? Not a one world government or bank, but a seamless economy and holographic sharing. A dream and impossibility? If we wish and we desire it enough it can happen as en masse effort. This is the way the Cosmos works, one for all and all for one. Once we align with this in selfless participation, then the Cosmos will act and co operate with us?

As I type this in late October the snow is on the ground, the trees and roof tops at 11.23 am. There are trail of animals, we have foxes, squirrels and from the lake nearby we have geese and ducks as they fly away to warmer climes, we have the patrolling cat, magpies, pigeons and an occasional woodpecker. It seems so far away from this quiet spot shielded from the busy main road, only to be at the back of the block of flats, it seems a world apart. An oasis in the mainstream of Life. Yet at the other side of the world in the USA in the Yellowstone Park Reserve, salamanders, frogs are in decline, is this because of the rumblings of underground calderas? Pools are drying up. Ancient prophesies backed up by the indigenous shamans and wise people are saying this could go up. Well may be so. So many folk are talking about a shift, and maybe this is part of the scenario. We have to build a new world and that starts with us clearing house and new foundations. We have to be courageous, bold, daring, and yet make wise decisions. We have to find ourselves, not the brainwashed rhetoric and spin by medical, political and religious world leaders, we have to see the truth and feel it. We have to be free creative spirits and look fear in the eyes and somehow walk through it. Surely, a brave new world.

There is a popular song which starts 'What do I do to make you love me'? My feeling is the title might be 'What do I do to make me love myself'? If we are always depending on the handout for love, then we may neglect or not seek for that in us. A world filled with loving folks who love themselves [not to be confused with egoistic love] would be a world to cherish and thrive in. For where there is not love there is a barren desert and bitter water pools.

The Universe provides such beauty, recently I received an email with attachment and it showed the Northern Lights and rare rainbow fire cloud, and then the tale of the Leonides meteor shower and to make a wish when you see them [October- November]. These natural wonders are the signs of beauty and a creative Universe.

Recently I had an experience which I should like to share with you. I was in the bathroom washing my hands preparatory to making a meal, and just empty minded drying my hands on a towel when in my mind slowly and in slide motion came the phrase what shall I do with this freedom and what do I do with the emptiness, the void, the nothing? Momentarily there was a pause then a resounding inner voice as it were pronounced NOTHING. Another pause and then I stated laughing, literally for twenty minutes, I had to go to the loo several times. I haven't laughed like that for years. I then phoned friends in Germany and I couldn't speak for laughter, they started laughing and we laughed for another 20 minutes. [Some weeks previous to this I awoke with great joy and danced around the bedroom shouting 'At last, at last I'm free. It was deep and profound.]. That afternoon I was watching a soccer match on TV and every time there was a foul, I broke out in hysterical laughter. I felt quite mad and yet intensely sane. By the way my laughter attracted the attention of my neighbours who enquired if I was alright.

Interestingly enough as it were, a few days after these two experiences above, a great kick back from the ego, I felt it trying to get back, old patterns surfaced and yet at the back of mind, so to speak, was that laughter, and more gentle, and it takes off now and then.

What does this mean? Am I enlightened? Obviously things are lighter and my approach to life is more spontaneous. Part of me seems to have a difficulty accepting the fun freedom offered to me. A kind of incredibility, like a huge gift, and can I really believe it? I have read in Satyam Nadeen's books that when an enlightenment experience takes place it has to be 'worn' as it were [my words] until the full integration process takes place. I know as I have said in the Koan blog that there are ko satori [minor enlightenment] which take apart the structure of the ego to finally culminate in O satori [enlightenment]. Well I have no idea.

Synchronicity; - just recently I started to have cramps in the abdomen and diarrhoea [end of October beginning of November], well you may say a bug, change of weather. It started on a Monday and stopped on a Wednesday, then started on Friday to the now Monday 3rd November, in itself well this happens. However phoning friends in Germany, Australia, South Africa, Holland, Belgium, USA, they too had the symptoms at the same times and with the intervals. The people said that they knew of no bug going around and we are in differing time zones and climates. My ego took a jolt, a friend of mine in the USA recently had a heart problem and advised me to have a check up, and he felt the ascension symptoms were a lot of old cobblers. He had the palpitations and the tightness and felt they were the symptoms. I was jolted and wondered if I am fooling myself. I have a fear of Doctors and Hospitals with invasive tests along with the drugs that could be administered. I had so much of this as child and in my later years several misdiagnosed procedures that I am loath to go for check ups, and cannot afford to go to Chinese or Ayurveda treatment if needed.

So here I am with a background of laughter, a freedom of mind not previously experienced before, and yet still part of me frightened and wondering about my health and on my 70th birthday in November. Maybe this pressure will result in either facing my fears in reality as it were, or working it out in mind, a sort of Koan in itself. This is the tussle which we all face in many different ways. Either circumstances will force the issue and I will have to act, or become a victim to my own fear and create a situation which need not have been there should the fear be erased. Watch this space. Chinese sayings 'If undecided between two things, do the third'.

To act of fear is unacceptable, to do nothing is risky, what then is third way? Maybe it is the middle way, the way of quietness and reaching into the void and let the solution present itself. The feeling is then all consuming and there is a kind of inner confirmation, a subtle joy, a deep gut feeling, and then whatever the decision it will turn out for the best no matter the outward workings of it. [Many people have shared an unerring sense of fear during October and November]. So many have picked up the USA elections, the turmoil of the credit crunch, the crazy weather patterns, the collective unconscious, the fear of those fleeing from tyranny, multiple small earthquakes, huge inputs of Cosmic Energy, no wonder the body can break down. In my 1967 notes it did say many would not survive the huge blasts of change through the light patterns of information coming in from the Cosmos. The Cosmos Itself is undergoing change and we can only follow suite. Resistance to this change can result in worry, to go where we have never been before is scary, and yet to stay where we are can be a disaster. Truly we need to support, cherish and love each other, and encourage change and where needed and stay put where appropriate.

Look up NASA Astronomy photo of the day and click on archives for years of stunning photographs. Just a few days ago they showed a first ever photograph of an asteroid streaking across the Sudanese sky and by calculating its trajectory they could find where it landed and collect samples and they are asking for further evidence from the public. {NASA archive November 8 2008. On the trail of meteor 2008 TC3}.

One of J Krishnamurti's quotes to contemplate;" But we reduce the vast action of Life to our own petty little action in Life and ask what shall we do, follow somebody, some book, some system? A real gem is his speech in 1929 delivered in Holland when he disbanded the Order of The Star Movement. The title given is the truth is a pathless path. It has been my kind of guide for years."

So many are having breakdowns for breakthroughs. Many have shared the stark fear they experience, an unreasonable force of energy that sears through the ego, somehow relentlessly tearing away at the super structure, the map of so called reality that we have built up over the years, the programmes acting out unconsciously as reaction, now not meeting the actuality of today and this shift into a new era. This has been an uncomfortable ride for others and myself and truly at times sent us to the brink of despair to then find a leap into a new way. This leap and succession of leaps, troughs and highs seem to be surging in really quickly.

Have a great festival and a great New Year. Thank you for your support and friendship. Lots of Love and Go Well. Geoff

Thank you so very much for your generous donations, the word mysteriously got around that I was on the verge of financial disaster due to the credit crunch which I lost £2,500, which is a small amount to some but took me twenty years to save due to extenuating circumstances. I have nearly recuperated the amount. Thank you and bless you. Geoff.

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